I’m working service bar, making slushies and Dewayne is picking up his drinks, mumbling something about, “No, they don’t come with free refills.”
“What’s that Dwayne?” I ask.
He nods his head, giving me a fierce look through those square glasses, “Oh, I thought you were Heather.”
“Well Dwayne, we do both have blue eyes and blonde hair.”
“Hmmm,” he replies, “You need to be more cultured in this bar.”
This first story comes from special correspondence outside Chicago. I think you all know where my sister works, so I’m not going to say it because I don’t want to jeopardize her. She works in hospitality and I always encourage her to share her stories.
During the fourth of July fireworks show, a guest approached my sister, screaming in agony demanding to speak to a manager. Apparently, a piece of ash had landed in her eye and her husband had video footage to prove it. My sister finds her manager and explains the situation. Meanwhile, the customers are attempting to contact the police.
The manager tries to calm the guests, who are now trying to reach their lawyer and already demanding free shit.
Now, as the fireworks start every night, there’s an announcement warning guests about rare bits of ash that might blow your way.
Ok…I’m just gonna say, how stupid do you have to be to not notice such an “inflicting” piece of ash flying straight towards you. Close your eyes, move your head, don’t just wait for something to hit you in the eye.
This is a perfect example of what’s wrong with our society; getting all worked up over something that was completely out of any one’s control and letting it spoil your vacation. Get the fuck over yourself.
On Sunday night, a middle-aged husband and wife sit down at 400 and immediately say to Heather, “it’s my wife’s birthday, make a big production.”
When I come around the corner, the guy repeats his command. I say, “Oh, happy birthday” and flip a bottle and ask heather to ring the bell. Apparently, this is not the big production the guy is looking for.
He asks us if we would sing to his wive, to which she adamantly shakes her head no.
Towards the end of their meal, he once again asks about the singing to which Heather points out the obvious, “she doesn’t want us to.” He then demands to speak to the owner to which I reply, “1-800-FRIDAYS.” On the way out he repeats he should’ve gone to Chilis.
Later I told Heather that they were from the Dells and we are disappointed that they represent Wisconsin so poorly. Just because someone is serving you alcohol, does not mean they are instantly your bitch and will do whatever you ask.
| Heather: | do you have your black card, this guy at table 80 works at a fridays but doesn't have his. |
| Luna: | No |
| Heather: | oh |
| Luna: | I have a red card. |
| Heather: | You have a red card?! |
| Luna: | what? Kyle does too. |
| Heather: | is that the guy who neglects his kids? |
| luna: | yep |
| Heather: | and he carries glasses outside |
| luna: | yep, but he tipped us $5 |
| ...as we watch him walk out the door with an ultimate lit |
Heather after I told her that I had to explain to table 80 that $9.79 - $8.00 is $1.79
Heather and I have decided that for some reason on Sundays, all the small, annoying things that tables normally do are extra irritating. This week’s extra irritating moment:
Guests who order water for themselves, look around the table and say (not ask) you “guys want water?” They don’t give the other guests a chance to respond, but immediately say, “we’ll all take water.” You bring four waters, and they are the only one who drinks it.
Solution:
Don’t bring water to the people who don’t ask for it.
Why?
Save the environment and don’t waste water.
Don’t waste precious space on your table.
Chances are if they didn’t ask for it, they really don’t want it.
| Heather: | I like all the new people. |
| Luna: | I like them cause they think I'm funny. |
| Heather: | You are funny. |
| Luna: | Oh...so are you!!! |
| Heather: | Brewers jazz hands. |
| Luna: | Brewers baseball. |
Old School Fridays Fun
Heather
two other ppl approached me with the same disgusted sentiment… I live for moments such as these…
