July 2011
3 posts
1 tag
My mom is going to pay for me over the phone...
…uh no she isn’t no matter how much you flirt with Joseph and play with his tie.
“These people need to leave so I can take my shirt off.”
– Caleb at 1150 Tuesday Night
1 tag
Back from Vacation
As Jayson dropped me off at Garmin this morning, I looked across Erie St. to Fridays and sighed saying, “oh shoot.”
“What’s wrong?” Jayson asked thinking I forgot something at home.
“Oh nothing, I just thought that maybe somehow Friday’s would’ve been blown up by the time we got back.”
“Don’t you think someone would’ve...
June 2011
2 posts
1 tag
The boys are back in town
…the cops that is. This past Tuesday a group of kids tried to walk out on their bill. Two got away but four were caught behind. The authories were called and when the kids couldn’t come up with the $22 balance, they were taken away to you know wherever it is that cops take bad guys.
Word is that one of the kids has been previously sighted walking out on his Fridays bill and been...
1 tag
Medium Well?
Aaron: How do you want your steak cooked? Customer: 7, You know like 7 out of 10 Aaron: So…medium well?
April 2011
4 posts
1 tag
Secret menu
Ok, lately I’ve been hearing questions such as, “Is this your entire menu?” or “Are these your only options?”
WTF?!?!?!
1. Our menu is ridiculously large already.
2. Why would we not give you the full menu?
3. You’re telling me you can’t find something out of that disgustinly large menu?
4. What kind of question is that? Are you looking for a...
1 tag
How many lemons do you get before it's a lemonade?
I gave this girl over 20 lemons for her “lemon water” the other day and she somehow managed to stuff them all in one tumbler. Oh yea, I charged her for a lemonade.
1 tag
What did you like most about your meal?
The meat and the sauce all in my mouth.
-We’re talking signature sauce.-
Just click the link- you won't be disappointed →
March 2011
3 posts
1 tag
CSP
Luna: Just so you know we're out of cajun shrimp and chicken pasta.
Table 84: What...no...are you serious?
Luna: Yes, I'm sorry.
Table 84: Can you ask the cooks to order more?
Luna: Um...
1 tag
“You can’t double dip…”
– Gaynor to the annoying girls at table 86 who just wouldn’t accept that you can’t use coupons and receive $10 value cards at the same time…ahhh!!!
1 tag
“What’s wrong with you?”
– Heather when she finds the people who ordered drinks, which she made, and then just left.
January 2011
5 posts
1 tag
Thank you Gaynor!
A huge shout-out and thank you to Gaynor for establishing some order in the restaurant. Not only is it entertaining to watch young punks being refused service but it will foster the relationship among hosts and the serving staff. Additionally, it feels more like a real restaurant then a petting zoo on crack. I know in the long run this will help build business and store morale will rise.
So...
2 tags
We are not a taxi service
Sunday night a guest called the cops claiming that some kids were harassing her as she left Fridays.
Lucky for us, Stephanie’s bathroom break was the perfect opportunity to learn more about the situation. As Stephanie sat in a stall she overheard the conversation between the female cop and the guest who had called. (side note: still not sure why this conversation took place in the...
1 tag
If I were Howard where would I be?
A new game for all of us to play!
1 tag
The Dream
Last night I was about to flip my shit on a table for some reason that I actually can’t remember…
and as I was about to cross over into the snowballing state of anger I looked up…
and there were images of Italy on TV…
and I thought…
you work this job so that you may someday return to that place right there…
no piece of shit, sad excuse for a human being...
1 tag
What are you standing there for Dewayne?
I’m waiting for this customer’s sizzlin’ plate because she said she wants it hot…what…some women like it hot.
December 2010
8 posts
“(heavy sigh) Jack Daniels and coke”
– Luna in response to the customer who ordered a jack and coke and then asked what’s in it
1 tag
Fun Sucker
Per your request Fink, I present “Fun Sucker” a special column that identifies all the fun activities a certain manager has eliminated.
Activity: No more fun nametags
Corporate Fridays has more mood swings than a teenage girl on her sixteenth birthday. One day we’re supposed to decorate our shirts, throw parties, and let our personalities shine through. Now, we’re...
1 tag
“I think it’s really sad that I have to explain to a grown adult that I...”
– Heather Fink in a statement that I think pretty much sums up the ridiculous and unfair logic of our “guests”
1 tag
“Can you remember that?”
– Yes, yes I can remember your order for a Jack Daniels Burger…after taking thousands of orders for a hamburger…I think I can remember what it’s called and that you want it.
1 tag
What I really want for Christmas...
What I really want for Christmas is a big mirror to show society its ugly self and change for the better. Or to say it not so nicely, I want people to get over themselves and stop sucking. I mean, I will help you. I want to help you and make a difference. I truly want the world to be a better place. The problem is, the world doesn’t want to be better. We embrace misery and strive to...
1 tag
The last thing I need...
…at the end of the night, is to have a bum asking for a napkin so he can pick the leftover boneless wings off of table 86.
2 tags
Good thing he didn't ask for milk...
On Adam’s last day, Rob is sitting at the bar eating lunch. After he finishes, he says, “Hey Adam, can I get a couple of oreos?”
Adam replies, “Dude, you don’t work here anymore, you don’t get free shit.”
2 tags
What sauce?
Luna: The guy at 81 doesn’t want the Charlie Daniels sauce.
Kyle: Well that’s new.
November 2010
2 posts
2 tags
1-800-Fridays Call in the Making
Luna: This bar is not set-up for success.
Kyle: This bar is set-up for failure.
Luna: I've never had to work in a restaurant where the bartender had to run to the back of the restaurant to fill ice in the middle of a dinner rush.
Kyle: Look up.
Luna: What?
Kyle: Bugs are caught in the decorative spider webs.
3 tags
I don't care if you're a "doctor"
Dr. McKoi (customer) : You just think I'm an angry black woman trying to get something for free.
Gaynor: Excuse me! You have no idea what is going through my head.
Dr. McKoi : I'm a doctor.
Gaynor: Well doctor, I wouldn't walk into your hospital and tell you how to diagnose your patients, would I?
Dr. McKoi: This is how I operate.
Gaynor: Just because I work in the service industry does not mean you can just yell at me and get what you want. This is how I operate.
October 2010
6 posts
1 tag
“Someone just asked me if mashed potatoes were good.”
– Luna
1 tag
“I think they should hang ropes from the ceiling, so it actually is a jungle in...”
– Brian’s suggestion for remodeling the bar
Texts with Tishka...if you say so Tishka...
Never thought i’d say this: working at friday’s is fun. :D
September 2010
11 posts
1 tag
Operation Destroy New Guy
I do not like him and I do not want to give him a second chance.
1 tag
Name Change
Seriously…I’d like to take a moment and recognize the creative geniuses that are the Fridays marketing department. Every time we get new menu items, they somehow manage to incorporate the word sizzlin’. For example, the “sizzlin’ big isle sundae” oh wait they changed that to ice cream nachos. Another example, “parm crusted chick” and...
2 tags
Straight Up or on the Rocks
Luna: Sir can I get you something to drink?
Customer: Grey Goose Martini.
Luna: Straight up or on the rocks?
Customer: You know - and he starts making hand gestures - the bartender will know what I mean.
Luna: Sir, I'm the bartender.
Customer: Oh, straight up.
2 tags
“Tell Brian that we’re going to Milwaukee. Me, Brian, Mrs. Brian, the dog...”
– Tom
Good luck Brian.
3 tags
“This is the only chance you’ll ever have to sing to a cast of a...”
– Me as I try to entice people to sing Happy Birthday to a girl who’s part of the cast of Billy Elliot. Dwayne finally obliges and dominates the whole song, which entices Gaynor to ask, “how did the singing go?”
2 tags
Fast Dressing
While Tiffany and I are attempting to cash out the cast of Billy Elliot, some crazy lady with a Qdoba cup and brown bag starts asking us what type of dressings we have. I list them to her.
“Can I have honey mustard and ranch for my salad.”
As I am busy with a million other things and don’t see a salad, I say, “Give me a minute.”
“Well,” she replies,...
1 tag
10:45 p.m. on a Sunday
Brian P is seating two, fairly young looking guests in the bar booths. At the top of the stairs he turns and says, “I’m sorry, I was so excited to seat you I forgot to ask if you are 21?”
They reply, “No.”
Brian P directs them back down into the restaurant.
A tweet that you might like from @redeyechicago
@redeyechicago said “Morning, Chicago. Tweather in a word is TGIFantastic. (I’m pushing the one-word rule, but it’s Friday!) ☼ 75°” I never thought TGI and fantastic could be used in the same sentence.
3 tags
The Funniest Man Alive
I’m working service bar, making slushies and Dewayne is picking up his drinks, mumbling something about, “No, they don’t come with free refills.”
“What’s that Dwayne?” I ask.
He nods his head, giving me a fierce look through those square glasses, “Oh, I thought you were Heather.”
“Well Dwayne, we do both have blue eyes and blonde...
2 tags
What's a rain delay?
A guy comes up to the bar and asks if we’ll have the US open final on any of the tvs. I say, “yes, it’s actually on that one, but the game’s on a rain delay.”
“Oh yea,” he says, “do you know what’s happening?”
“Sir, it’s on rain delay.”
“Oh, do you know who’s winning?” he continues.
...
1 tag
“My table just asked for mazarati cheese sticks”
– Mike
August 2010
9 posts
1 tag
“What are we going to do when it gets busy?”
– Glenn, realizing the madness that is Sunday night at Fridays
2 tags
“Doesn’t David look like Benjamin Franklin?”
– Carly, as I realize he actually does.
2 tags
“You forgot your glasses, so you can’t hear?”
– Carly in confusion after Dwayne explained he couldn’t hear her calling for food runners, because he wasn’t wearing his glasses.
“Why don’t you join the rest of your friends?”
– Wysoczki (sp?) as he uses the tongs to put a fallen shrimp back on its sizzlin plate.
2 tags
What is the name of that apple place in wisconsin?
Adan: Apple Holler.
Tom: Well how many apples can you pick?
Adan: You can pick as many as you want.
Tom: Let's go to Toronto. I betchya they have some huge apples there.
1 tag
“Did you see the application from Jesus Christ? Under experience he listed Holy...”
– Kyle