These are my top ten favorite posts over the past months. I can only hope 2010 will be as entertaining!!!
Honorable Mention: Johnny Depp is my Hero
10: Chocolate Milk…Shaken not Stirred
9. Response to Ridiculous Question
8: Gross
7: Logic
6: Promotion
3: Tishka Tude
Kyle on the never ending quest to discover the point of hosts in a restaurant
Popper-Skin: noun pau-pur-sken
A potato skin topped with a jalepeno pepper and cream cheese with melted cheese on top concealing the contents and making the insides a surprise.
who do you think?
Kyle, after he chased an old lady to the corner who walked, excuse me, ran out on her bill
Brian at the last bar cleaning
“Hey Tishka,” I say enthusiastically, “You look like you’re dressed as an adult tonight.”
“Really? Because I’m wearing Jason’s shirt.”
“Well, I guess you’re boyfriend knows how to dress like an adult.”
an hour later…
Tishka:
“I need to get my serving shift picked up. Someone said they’ll do it, but I don’t know if they still will. Why do people write on the sheet that they want to pick up a shift and then don’t? Lecretia does that all the time. I’ll ask her to pick up a shift and she’ll say she can’t because she’s going to a party. Then why did you write that you can?”
Rob:
“Hey Abbey, can you work Friday night.”
Tishka:
“No!”
Dave forced Carly to come into work on the day that she was diagnosed with swine flu. Great. As Kyle said, “I might as well just go to the doctor first thing tomorrow.”
I tried to keep Carly hydrated, but she kept neglecting my water with lemon.
Brian says, “You know what always makes me feel better and I don’t know why, iced tea.”
I respond, “Ooh, I think it’s the lemon in it. Water with lemon. Iced tea with lemon.”
Brian shakes his head in agreement.
I pause a moment and ask, “You don’t put lemon in your iced tea do you?”
He laughs and says, “No, but I was going to go along with it.”
Last night at triviaI ordered my special nachos, (Tostada Nachos 86 beef, sub chicken, 86 ref. beans, sub black beans) that I’ve ordered at least 20 times before and actually suggested the s.i. to customers without question. Ten minutes later, Dave comes up to me and says, “What do you mean by black beans?”
I reply, “No refried beans, but black beans instead.”
Dave says, “But what do you mean by black beans? We don’t have black beans.”
“Dave,” I say as calmly as possible, “I’ve ordered this many times before, we have black beans.”
Thankfully Tiffany chimes in, “You know, black beans from the Santa Fe Chopped Salad?”
Dave, still looking confused, finally says, “ok” and walks away.
Mind you, this is the first thing he says to me all night. No, “hey, how are you?” or “hey, thanks for cleaning by bar while I didn’t pay you.”
Five minutes later he comes back to the table, “Just so you know, they made the nachos wrong the first time, and I have to throw an entire order away. You guys are just getting out of hand with your s.i.’s.”
I just said, “Ok.”
Oh Dave, I can’t wait for the day the tables are turned.
Seriously, what tastes than better than bacon? Please enjoy these bacon-inspired stories. The first is from Tishka;
Tishka’s table asks: “You all put bacon on that?”
Tishka replies, “No, that’s Applebees. They put bacon on everything, they should call it BaconBees.”
The second comes from closing with Kyle.
I always oreder food and forget to take it home with me, so I told Kyle to remind me at the end of the night. He told me to remind him to order food towards the end of the night, which I did.
Him packing his food, reminded him to take a few extra ketchup and mustard packets, which reminded me to take home a soup-container full of sweet & low, which reminded him, to take home his own soup-container full of sugar, which reminded me to take home a few lemons, which promted him to pack a to-go box full of bacon.
As Kyle said, “They were just going to throw it away anyway.”
